Pakis, sangria & vomito = Report Barcelona

4 MN

Pakis, sangria & vomito = Report Barcelona

Aussi étonnant que ça puisse paraitre pour mes potes, non je ne suis jamais allé à Barcelone, enfin si quand j’étais en CM2 lors d’un voyage scolaire, autant dire que ça compte pas. J’avais des brefs souvenirs de la sagrada familia, mais pas grand-chose de plus. Aussi quand j’y suis retourné il y a une semaine, c’était vraiment en mode «je.suis.le.gros.touriste.foireux.de.base », la tête rempli de tous les blablas que tout le monde m’avait sorti avant sur cette ville. Car oui Barcelone est avec Londres, un des spots où tu trouves tellement de français, que t’as l’impression que t’es même pas sorti de l’hexagone. Bref mercredi 6 Mars en début d’après midi, je posais mon premier pied sur la Rambla sous un ciel bleu et une température avoisinant les 18 degrés.

Adrien Lacheré à écrit dans un artice récent « On ne découvre pas la Thaïlande si on ne découvre pas la relation quotidienne des Thaïlandais avec la présence constante des touristes ». Je pense qu’il en est de même pour Barcelone : Des boutiques de souvenirs par centaines, aux pakis qui essayent de te refourguer à tous les coins de rue de la bière, en passant par les chinoises qui te proposent des massages sur la plage… la sollicitation est permanente. Je crois que la flèche rouge clignotante au dessus de ma tête indiquant « Toutou = Porte monnaie sur patte » n’a jamais été aussi présente que pendant cette semaine. C’est agaçant mais à la longue on doit s’y faire. Pendant 6 jours j’ai arpenté en long en large et en travers, à pied et à vélo, cette ville, et j’ai commencé petit à petit à y prendre vraiment goût.

 

 

Voici un bref résumé hachuré et bordélique de ma semaine à Barcelona:

 

Arrivée à l’aéroport de Barcelone El Prat – Putain mais quel bordel – Comment on fait pour rejoindre le centre ? – Mal indiqué – Prix des tickets de train non conforme aux guides vendus en France – 1ere enculade – Problème sur la ligne – J’ai envi de jeter le mec qui joue du violon par la fenêtre du train. – La Rambla – Trouver la pension où on va dormir – C’est quoi cette chambre ? – Couleur horrible – Lavabo fendu – Confort sommaire – Poussière – Lit Petit – Cellule sous Franco ? – Crève de faim – Burger délicieux face à la mer – Bière – Faites attention à votre sac, un mec vient de se le faire tirer par un mec à vélo – Merci madame – Marche – Barceloneta – Linge qui sèche aux fenêtres – Resto bruyant – Tapas dégueulasses – Nuit de merde – Froid – Bruit – Changement de chambre – Pas de lumière – marche – Il fait chaud – Sac lourd – Pourquoi j’ai pris tous ces pulls ? – Sueur – t-shirt – Sagrada familia – On dirait disneyland – Sauf que c’est du vrai et en pleine ville – Dingue – Il est fou ce Gaudi – Casse croute – Il est bon ce putain de jambon – Trop de queue – Trop de touriste – Photo – On se barre – Marche – Montée – Marche – On est les seul à aller à pied jusqu’au Parc Guell ?– Passe la tête sous l’eau dans les chiottes – C’est beau – Trop de touristes – Manges des fruits – Sieste – Belle vue sur la ville – Marche – Un mec chante déguisé en léopard – Reprise rock – Il gémit – Pousse des cris – Bière – Tapas – Nuit – Nuit – Vélo – Tour de la ville – Paella sur les rochers – Des mecs font de la muscu face à la mer – On pousse vers l’Est – Building – Affaires – On pousse encore – Putain c’est pauvre ici – Crade – Bâtiments – Plus de touriste – Rue déserte – Des mecs poussent des caddies avec de la ferraille – Marché au puces – Champs Elysées – Verre en terrasse – Putain même les chinois tiennent des bars ici ? – Chambre – Sieste – 23h – On va bouffer ? Quoi il font des Pintxos aussi ici ? Vodka – Bière – Pintxos – Shot – Vin – Nuit – Nuit – Nuit – Attention à votre sac – Ouais on a compris ok ! – Plage – Des mecs se baignent – Il fait bon – Chinoise – Massage – Nan c’est bon – Impossible d’être tranquille – Les plages en dehors du centre sont cool – Surf – Lecture – Beach Volley – Paella ? Putain merde, c’est des spaghettis – Trop de bruit – Ils parlent trop forts ces espagnols – Plage – Parc de la Ciutadella – Ambiance fête de l’huma – Musique – Bière – Détente – Les Pakis essayent de nous refourguer tout le temps des bières – Ils font chier –Un bon gros Double Whooper ? Ptit dej – Quoi le jus d’orange 5 euros 50 ? Marche, Boutique cool – Bouffe avec mon cousin, sa femme et son fils sur la plage – Orgie de bouffe –  On est bien – Plage – Parc – Palmier –  Bois des coups avec Sam (Partaix) et Anais (Le Corvec) – Bar cool – On est perdu – Ruelles – Tout se ressemble – Burger – Bar dans un appartement – Billard avec des allemands – bourré – Achetes un pack à un paki – Picole dans un square – Flic – Contrôle – Jette les bières – Funiculaire – Montjuic – Belle vue – Beau parc – Marche – Vue sur l’autre versant –  Port horrible – C’est quoi ces HLM – Ah non putain c’est un cimetière – C’est des stèles – Plus hautes que des bâtiments – Ca cruise en masse en ville – Achète des lunettes de soleil dans une fripe – Galerie d’art -Marché – Jus de coco – Horrible ces têtes d’agneaux – Casa Batllo – Impressionnant – Couleur – Showroom Olow – Marcel puig notre distributeur en Espagne- Bière espagnole – Jour de match de foot – Mingus Bar – Bière – Tapas – Shot de Jägermeister – Bière – Vin – Shot – Bonne soirée – Putain j’suis arraché – Dernier shot – Chambre – Vomi – Vomi – Vomi – Dur réveil – Ciao Barcelone – A très vite

 

 

Interview réalisée par Valentin Porcher
Forgot your password ?
Need help?

How to order?

Please follow the following instructions in order to submit an Order:

  1. Visit the Website;

  2. Follow the instructions on the Website to place your orders and especially the instructions given to create a Customer account;

  3. Fulfil the Ordering form. After extended inactivity you may encounter an automatic cancellation of the Goods you submitted. You shall start a new Order of any Good and Service you wished to order;

  4. You shall check the Goods and Services you Order, and if necessary, please identify and correct the error;

  5. Confirm the Order, the Total Price as well as the All-Inclusive Price (the “Order Confirmation”);

  6. Follow the payment Website instructions in order to pay the All-Inclusive Price.

After you have submitted an order, the Customer receives by email and without delay a confirmation of his approval of the Order.

The Customer also receives by email and without delay, a receipt of the order sent electronically, regarding as a confirmation of the order (“Order Confirmation”).

The Customer receives electronically, the confirmation that the Goods have been dispatched.

The delivery shall take place at the location indicated by the Customer at the time of the Order.

Additionally, by undertaking these different steps to Order, the Customer accepts to strictly comply with this Agreement, in accordance with section 1316-1 of the French Civil Code.

The Vendor undertakes to deliver the Goods and Services subject of the Order Confirmation. In the event that a Good ordered is unavailable, the Vendor will promptly inform the Customer about this.

However, under section L.122-1 of the French Consumer Code, the Vendor reserves the right to cancel your Order if the Order is abnormal, involves bad faith or for any other reason that is under the sole discretion of the Vendor. The Vendor also reserves the right to reject orders from any customer with whom the Vendor have an ongoing legal dispute regarding a prior order.

Free delivery and exchange offered

For orders over €120, delivery is free.

Returns are free from France thanks to our prepaid label.

Prices and delivery times

Shipping cost

Collection points: €5

Home delivery with signature: 7.5€

Free delivery for orders over 120€

Delivery time

2-4 working days

Allemagne, Autriche, Belgique, Bulgarie, Chypre, Danemark, Espagne, Finlande, Grèce, Hongrie, Italie, Malte, Pays-Bas, Pologne, Portugal, République Tchèque, Suède, Ukraine

Shipping cost

Home delivery: €9.5

Free delivery for orders over 120€.

Delivery time

4-7 working days

Andorre, Biélorussie, Croatie, Islande, Monaco, Norvège, Royaume-Uni, Russie, Suisse, Turquie

Shipping cost

Home delivery: €9.5

Free delivery for orders over €120

Delivery time

5-8 working days

Bahamas, Canada, États-Unis, Mexique

Shipping cost

Home delivery: €15

Free delivery for orders over €120.

Delivery time

5-9 working days

Argentine, Brésil, Chili

Shipping cost

Home delivery: €27

Free delivery for orders over €120.

Delivery time

6-9 working days

Arabie Saoudite, Bahreïn, Chine, Corée du Sud, Émirats Arabes Unis, Hong-Kong, Indonésie, Israël, Japon, Malaisie, Qatar, Singapour, Taiwan

Shipping cost

Home delivery: €24

Free delivery for orders over €120.

Delivery time

4-7 working days

Australie, Nouvelle-Zélande

Shipping cost

Home delivery: €27

Free delivery on orders over €120.

Delivery time

6-10 working days

Returns

You have received your order but the product does not suit you?

You can return your products within 15 days of receiving your package, for any order.

For the festive season, the deadlines are extended to 30 days.

The items must not have been worn, washed or damaged and must be returned in their original packaging, in perfect condition for resale.

How do I return my package from France?

Return shipping from France is free via Mondial Relay.

To return your parcel, it is very simple :

  1. Go to “My account”, in the “My purchases” section,

  2. In the list of your orders, select your order,

  3. If your order is eligible for return, please tick each product you wish to return. If a product has been ordered in several copies, you can indicate the quantity to be returned.

  4. Indicate the reason for the return at the bottom of the order details and click on “Request a return”. You can track your return request in the “Returns” section of the “My purchases” section.

  5. Once your return request has been validated by our team, all you have to do is stick your pre-paid label (provided at the time of delivery) on the package, insert the completed returns form in the parcel and drop it off at a Mondial Relay point.

How can I return my package (International online returns)

International return packages are at the customer’s expense (including cost of shipment by the chosen carrier, customs & duties, taxes, etc.)

To return your parcel, it is very simple :

  1. Go to “My account”, in the “My purchases” section,

  2. In the list of your orders, select your order,

  3. If your order is eligible for return, please tick each product you wish to return. If a product has been ordered in several copies, you can indicate the quantity to be returned.

  4. Indicate the reason for the return at the bottom of the order details and click on “Request a return”. You can track your return request in the “Returns” section of the “My purchases” section.

  5. Once your return request has been validated by our team, simply download the return form and place it in your package. 

  6. Send your package to the address indicated on the return form.

Want to make a return request with a guest account?

It's very easy : contact us by email at service-client@olow.fr indicating your order number, the items you wish to return and whether you wish to request a refund, a credit note or an exchange.

How long does it take to get my money back once my package has been sent?

Refunds will be made within 10 days of receipt of your items and automatically to the account associated with the credit card used for payment or to the Paypal account used for payment.

Is it possible to return my item in the shop?

No, for all internet orders, returns can only be made to the address mentioned above.

What can I do if my item has a defect?

We take great care in the manufacture and finishing of our products. However, if you wish to report a manufacturing defect on a product, we invite you to contact our customer service by e-mail: service-client@olow.fr.

Desperately Seeking Susan
Forgot your password ?
Need help?

How to order?

Please follow the following instructions in order to submit an Order:

  1. Visit the Website;

  2. Follow the instructions on the Website to place your orders and especially the instructions given to create a Customer account;

  3. Fulfil the Ordering form. After extended inactivity you may encounter an automatic cancellation of the Goods you submitted. You shall start a new Order of any Good and Service you wished to order;

  4. You shall check the Goods and Services you Order, and if necessary, please identify and correct the error;

  5. Confirm the Order, the Total Price as well as the All-Inclusive Price (the “Order Confirmation”);

  6. Follow the payment Website instructions in order to pay the All-Inclusive Price.

After you have submitted an order, the Customer receives by email and without delay a confirmation of his approval of the Order.

The Customer also receives by email and without delay, a receipt of the order sent electronically, regarding as a confirmation of the order (“Order Confirmation”).

The Customer receives electronically, the confirmation that the Goods have been dispatched.

The delivery shall take place at the location indicated by the Customer at the time of the Order.

Additionally, by undertaking these different steps to Order, the Customer accepts to strictly comply with this Agreement, in accordance with section 1316-1 of the French Civil Code.

The Vendor undertakes to deliver the Goods and Services subject of the Order Confirmation. In the event that a Good ordered is unavailable, the Vendor will promptly inform the Customer about this.

However, under section L.122-1 of the French Consumer Code, the Vendor reserves the right to cancel your Order if the Order is abnormal, involves bad faith or for any other reason that is under the sole discretion of the Vendor. The Vendor also reserves the right to reject orders from any customer with whom the Vendor have an ongoing legal dispute regarding a prior order.

Free delivery and exchange offered

For orders over €120, delivery is free.

Returns are free from France thanks to our prepaid label.

Prices and delivery times

Shipping cost

Collection points: €5

Home delivery with signature: 7.5€

Free delivery for orders over 120€

Delivery time

2-4 working days

Allemagne, Autriche, Belgique, Bulgarie, Chypre, Danemark, Espagne, Finlande, Grèce, Hongrie, Italie, Malte, Pays-Bas, Pologne, Portugal, République Tchèque, Suède, Ukraine

Shipping cost

Home delivery: €9.5

Free delivery for orders over 120€.

Delivery time

4-7 working days

Andorre, Biélorussie, Croatie, Islande, Monaco, Norvège, Royaume-Uni, Russie, Suisse, Turquie

Shipping cost

Home delivery: €9.5

Free delivery for orders over €120

Delivery time

5-8 working days

Bahamas, Canada, États-Unis, Mexique

Shipping cost

Home delivery: €15

Free delivery for orders over €120.

Delivery time

5-9 working days

Argentine, Brésil, Chili

Shipping cost

Home delivery: €27

Free delivery for orders over €120.

Delivery time

6-9 working days

Arabie Saoudite, Bahreïn, Chine, Corée du Sud, Émirats Arabes Unis, Hong-Kong, Indonésie, Israël, Japon, Malaisie, Qatar, Singapour, Taiwan

Shipping cost

Home delivery: €24

Free delivery for orders over €120.

Delivery time

4-7 working days

Australie, Nouvelle-Zélande

Shipping cost

Home delivery: €27

Free delivery on orders over €120.

Delivery time

6-10 working days

Returns

You have received your order but the product does not suit you?

You can return your products within 15 days of receiving your package, for any order.

For the festive season, the deadlines are extended to 30 days.

The items must not have been worn, washed or damaged and must be returned in their original packaging, in perfect condition for resale.

How do I return my package from France?

Return shipping from France is free via Mondial Relay.

To return your parcel, it is very simple :

  1. Go to “My account”, in the “My purchases” section,

  2. In the list of your orders, select your order,

  3. If your order is eligible for return, please tick each product you wish to return. If a product has been ordered in several copies, you can indicate the quantity to be returned.

  4. Indicate the reason for the return at the bottom of the order details and click on “Request a return”. You can track your return request in the “Returns” section of the “My purchases” section.

  5. Once your return request has been validated by our team, all you have to do is stick your pre-paid label (provided at the time of delivery) on the package, insert the completed returns form in the parcel and drop it off at a Mondial Relay point.

How can I return my package (International online returns)

International return packages are at the customer’s expense (including cost of shipment by the chosen carrier, customs & duties, taxes, etc.)

To return your parcel, it is very simple :

  1. Go to “My account”, in the “My purchases” section,

  2. In the list of your orders, select your order,

  3. If your order is eligible for return, please tick each product you wish to return. If a product has been ordered in several copies, you can indicate the quantity to be returned.

  4. Indicate the reason for the return at the bottom of the order details and click on “Request a return”. You can track your return request in the “Returns” section of the “My purchases” section.

  5. Once your return request has been validated by our team, simply download the return form and place it in your package. 

  6. Send your package to the address indicated on the return form.

Want to make a return request with a guest account?

It's very easy : contact us by email at service-client@olow.fr indicating your order number, the items you wish to return and whether you wish to request a refund, a credit note or an exchange.

How long does it take to get my money back once my package has been sent?

Refunds will be made within 10 days of receipt of your items and automatically to the account associated with the credit card used for payment or to the Paypal account used for payment.

Is it possible to return my item in the shop?

No, for all internet orders, returns can only be made to the address mentioned above.

What can I do if my item has a defect?

We take great care in the manufacture and finishing of our products. However, if you wish to report a manufacturing defect on a product, we invite you to contact our customer service by e-mail: service-client@olow.fr.

Give me some news !

* Required fields
But where is Olow?